HI.

missed me? ofcourse you did ;) heh. its funny how Ive progressed from updating daily, to updating every fortnight, to now.. losing complete loyalty to this blog. my apologies darlings! my unshakable procrastinating tendencies, as well as growing sluggish ways have gotten the better of me. despite having to skipout on on a load of details that have morphed into this vague MESH since my last update, Imma get this longass post OVERWITH. so here we goooo ;D
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4/9/2009 +5/9/2009
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had lunch;

(where ethanbaby single-handedly devoured plate upon plate of sushi)

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&& it was hello mindnumbing, torturous 2hour drive, to PD with the fam.

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met with the rest of the fam at the YachtClub as soon as we reached in the evening, and I found salvation in beachside cigs over boyfriendtalk with nicole as our ever-chaotic fam laughed and chatted away by the poolside. the weather later got excruciatingly hot and so we retrated to our hotelrooms to shower and dollup;



(wanted to wear my converse sneakers with this dress but daddy forbid me -_-)
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.. for godma's 50th Birthday Dinner at night.




nic, the cousin I grewup with who is the reason I survive fam gatherings!
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after everyone had gone to bed, nic, ian, kyle and I setout after midnight to take moonlit walks on the beach- only to be chased back into the safety of our hotelrooms cause a fucking widstorm took over, overturning WOODEN TABLES and jamming lifts! I was onthephone to baby when it happened and I swear I thought I was going to die ;X had brekkie at the YachtClub in the morning and was home beyond exhausted by afternoon. PD tookup my entire weekend! of foulmouthed lawyer passwords, names in sand, marriage plans, flying ashtrays and gatal guards♥


mom: " naomi Im tired lah! take a picture and Ill kiiiiiiill you- "
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8/9/2009
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spenttime with baby♥ at his place till late (:
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14/9/2009- 5/10/2009
:BLAAAARDY SPM TRIALS ;(
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mygawd it felt as if there was no END okay! I honestly fucked it up, knowing my Forecast/ Trial results didnt matter as I wasnt going to use it to apply early to college like the majority of my schoolmates. agh. anyway, throughout the month I grounded myself, thinking if I forced my ass to stay home Id eventually get so bored Id study, which is why I hardly wentout at all.
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& so its HELLO COMPILED PICTURES FROM CLASS -






think Im one of those pretty proper girls? think again. if you knew me well enough this picture wouldnt surprise you! cause this is sooo me ;P



seminar after seminar

geeeeeeekin' it up for SPM yo


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.. before I get into the only things worth mentioning that happened during Trials !
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17th September;

• Fran's 20th Bday

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18th September;

• Calvin's 14th Bday

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19th September;

• Hanis's 17th Bday
• ZOUK with callyyyyy at night

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21st September;

• Movie and dayout with mister lewis lucas(whom I missed so so much!) at TheCurve from noon till evening
• spenttime with baby♥ at his place right after, till late

23rd September:

• spenttime with baby♥ at his place(& forever will I remember this day)
  

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24th September:

• ONEMONTH Anniversary♥
  

surprised him with cupcakes at his doorstep. he wasnt home so I had to convince him to FLY home, lying that a certain exfling of mine was about to do something to his house if he didnt get back soon- and I wrote ' DARI JABATAN POLIS ' on the toppve the box ;P HEHE. cupcakes courtesy of SweettoothCupcakes bytheway! (;
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25th September;

• mom and I got our hair done at ShawnCutler, Bangsar. spent FIVE HOURS there, getting my hair relaxed, but it was wellworthit cause I loved the result! plus the yummy salon guys, DeathCab music and bonding with mom made the hours fly (:

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1st October;

• spotted me in this months issue yet bitches? (; haha!
  

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6/10/2009


school was a yawn so hanis and I decided to skip it, on a whim. used stolen permissionslips(cons of going to a privateschool- nosey, strict securityguards!) and was DANCING with joy the second we passed thru ;P charged to McDs at feasted on brekkie, laughing and talking nonstop the whole way thru. in the midst of our convo, hanis's sister's friend whom neither of us know came up to our table and asked me to slap him- fucking weird much o.o went to Bangsar after, and finally got this sexy satin skirt Ive been vying for ;D Sipped down juices at Marmalade, and back to SS15 where I met baby. dropped hanis back to school, and wentover to baby's place right after. was home before midnight and couldnt believe I was as exhausted as I was! had SOOO much fun tho(: of runningaway from policecars, 'hanis's " sir ", mattress precautions, and being schoolgirl misfits♥
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7/10/2009
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HAPPY SEXY TUJUHBELAS-th, TEKKIN NIKKID (:


you were there for me, through heartache after heartache, and altho your adivice hurts me sometimes, I know you only tell me things I need to hear, the truth. Iloveyou nikkid, youre one of my best guy friends and Ill always be your tinygilagirl!
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being the naughty schoolgirls we are, we decided to skip school again ;X
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so nat, hanis and I setout onceagain using the same permissionslip tactic and mygawd the feeling of SATISFACTION you get those 5seconds after youve fooled the guards is INDESCRIBABLE! went to McDs for brekkie again, and I wentover to baby's place while hanis and nat went to shop at Pavillion. poor baby of mine, I woke him up ;P snuck back into school in the nick of time, and laughed like crazy over how much fun we had at the canteen, while waiting for the lastbell to go. FELT SO NAUGHTY, heh. of raju the funniest indian in the world, backseat turtles and perempuan gajahs♥
*pictures from bothdays still with hanis!
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12/10/2009
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worst day of my entire 17years of living, no shit. its way too personal to share here, so I wont even hint on what fucked me up so bad. was a fucking antsy WRECK the entire day and I dont think I wouldve kept sane without support from everyone I sought it from. I couldnt ask for better girlfriends- all of you, you know who you are and I thankyou, from the deepest corner of my heart. lesson thruoughly learned on taking certain things seriously.
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13/10/2009
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unlike the last two days, skipping school was PLANNED beforehand so wokeup smiling knowing the day was going to a great, when contrasted to the normal schoolday everyone THOUGHT we were going to have ;p tija strawberry bigspenderr and I didnt even need to use the slips, we walked right out! was too lazy to watch our movies as planned, so tija went to see her boyfriend and I went to see mine. was home by dinnertime. of main keluar je-ing, firsttime flashbacks in AC toilets, sneaking undersheets and angpao packets hahah♥
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17/10/2009
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Tiffany's Bday party at her place (:





strawberry bigspenderr + maoni !


natliewww

DAYUM STRAIGHT YO

garbriellll ong


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21/10/2009
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HAPPY SEXY TUJUHBELAS-th, kellie aunnnntie (:

nothing beats cake for brekkie mannn ;D
*pics with kellie!
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besides that, had the worst banana-cramps EVER at night and I was literally shaking with pain ;( I tell you, I have the bitchiest vagina on the block. ;/

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22/10/3009
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Kyle Nicholas Hon's 13th Bday (:



hes mr.blurblur in our fam for a reason !

cant believe hes a teenager! Ive rarely seen eyetoeye with him over the years but something tells me the older he gets, the closer we'll become, having more to relate to. it tickles me pink that just the other day I borrowed CDs from him- who wouldve thought the day Id share the same taste in music with my little brother would come? haha. rushed back from tuition, had Japanese for dinner, and sung him his birthday song at night.
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23/10/2009
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tija strawberry bigspenderr picked me up at 1pm, and cut, tija and I got our hairdone at cut's salon in Taipan. curling my hair always frustrates me(cause the first half an hour, your hair looks like poodle shit!) and I cured my anger with buying a new pair of heels. have been spending moolah like fucking water lately so I begged tija to not let me NEAR anymore stores ;X !

of buddha boyfriends, umbrella lessons &poodle woes♥ had lunch;
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.. and went to tija's newplace to get dolledup together(:





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.. for our GRADUATION NIGHT at GrandDorsetSubang ;D



mom and dad came to support me(:


BFFS for-fucking-ever.


vampin & lacin' it up with hanis






madeline serangga, shelly mermaid, kellie aunntie






michael smokes


nikkid love!

typical


sean siumai

MERMAID I LOVE YOUU!


manda chua

kavin my indian husband ;D

terence & khairi nostrills



cut tenasya






mr.chew, our darling principal. tija & I have been in &outta his office atleast once a month for the past year, and this man has the biggest heart you could ever find. he overlooked us from being suspended+expelled countless of times and is like a grandfather to us!

FIVE BETA. from trying to murder a teacher with a bananapeel, to being the only class in school harboring 3students with tonguepiercings, to being the noisiest class on the block- no other class has THIS much fun (;


OMGAWD TEAREDUP SO MANY TIMES ;( by the end of the night it felt surreal that we had all officially graduated from highschool. 2fun, UNFORGETTABLE years Ive spent with my classmates- and every single SECOND has been nothing short of ahmazing. I love my 5Beta-rians to death. they are my FAMILY and always will be♥


teachers reports over the last two years. haha!
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24/10/2009
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TWOMONTH Anniversary♥
spenttime with baby♥ at his place as usual. didnt give eachother anything, or do anything special but I didnt expect anything to start with. all I wanted, was to see my baby I got to do just that. Ive never been this comfortable with someone in my life, and I swear, he is what gets me thru everyday. Ive never loved anyone as much, and I cant even IMAGINE being with any other boy in this world. we fight almost once a week but by the end of the night being without him just isnt possible. Derrick alexander nathan, you have my heart forever. and I mean that. Iloveyou, you skinny stubborn sakai naughty smallboy!
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25/10/2009
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wokeup at godforsaken 7am, for Ethanbaby's 1st Holy Communion (:


spot the bumbumboy with the redtie!

with the priest who made a HOUSEVISIT to my house late lastyear, trying to talk me outta being so outta control. bah.

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.. its 9:37pm as I type this and Im juggling this, nonstop orange MSN tabs popping up, ethanbaby asking me to help with his homework and sorting thru the kazillionth website for the perfect Prom dress. Ive only been to school twice this entire week as Ive been geekin' it up, studying History like NO TOMORROW at home. money and deadlines, are my two biggest worries at the moment. lord, give me the strength to survive the long nights and days to come, to win this battle against fucking SPM! goodbyyye loves(;
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With every breath that I am worth
here on earth;
I'm sending all my love to you
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest, assure
That all my love's for you
My beating heart belongs to you♥

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p/s: manda rachel johnson, my OlgaChickenPurpleneck, it feels beyond good to have you back in my life. after all those times we headbanged to screamo on our secret hidingspot on the rooftop bleachers, to getting so intoxicated we kissed walls and swung on ceiling lights, to 'accidentally' walking in on sexy malemodels in the middle of shoots, to bimbotically locking ourselves out on balconies, to all those stolen cigarettes in our bikinis by your bedroom window- we were crazy to EVER separate!

pp/s: for gods sake coconutscraper, HAVE SOME DIGNITY woman!
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xxx

hello loves.

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I ..

only have

fourrrr

keythings

.. I'd like to say ;D
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1. Im a borrrrring, innocent goodgirl now (;


& altho it gets ridiculously monotonous at times, staying in allnight instead of getting into all sortsve trouble, Im glad to say Ive finally adjusted. you're more likely to find me shootingdown everyone infrontve the telly insetad of out nowdays! it gets tres difficult to say 'no' and turn a blindeye to things I used to love doing so much, and cravings do come & go, but being healthy and happy beats the HELL outta feeling as if I have no control over my body or the things that happen around me.
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2. I love my boyfriend(:


he is my everything &I do not, for a second, regret letting him in. he takes me the way I am and I trust him completely. I honestly havent been this happy in a longlongggg time! & I know deepdown its going to last. this, is the boy who's been changing my world. & I love my baby with everything Ive got, more than I could promise(: 24/7/2009♥
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3. FUCKKKKKKK SPM.

what exactly, is the point of attending school when all I do 8hours a day is sit around looking pretty, vying on the nextbestthing to keep me entertained? despite being in the ScienceStream teachers have literally givenup on my class so seeing as its our choice to listen or not, weve given up on ourselves as well. &so with this, Ive been skipping school like crazy- but its not like Im missing out on anything! the closer SPM gets, the less motivated I become. my 'rents have always taken major exams seriously and swallowing nags has nesstled its way into becoming a dailyactivity. I dont even know what Im going to do after SPM but pushing aside all the 'hype' and 'stress' everyones striving to pile onto you, the reality is, 5credits are all you need to do anything!
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4. RIP, JohnnyBoy ;(

watching you be put down that grim saturdaymorning was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. youve been in our family since I was in Kindergarden & youve always been the sweetest dog. youre in a better place now but I hope you know youre missed dearly, johnnyboy♥
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so I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks;
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf♥

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p/s: GOTTA stop running away ! ;S
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xxx

hey.

beside my diminishable streak of procrastination, the underlying reason behind the lack of updates is I have, honestly? not being doing much lately! I feel as if I have the drive to do this &that, but I havent been able to fix my energy into a proper track or focus yet. so my life is pretty much this disarrayed, mismatched mess right about now. like a work in progress ;P anyway hellllllo updates !
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10/8/2009+ 11/8/2009
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this;h

is exactly what ethanbaby and I did alldaylong for 2days straight. haha!
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as I had mentioned in my previouspost, SriKL was officially SHUTDOWN for a week due to H1N1 and ethan got a weeklong MC, so him and I revelled in our timeoff. ordered my trusty sausage mcmuffin with egg from McDs at 4am, three nights in a row so I was a happy girl ;D but on Tuesdaynight, after waiting an usual THIRTYMINUTES for my burger(the deliverys usually made within 10mins of calling kay!) I stomp back into the house ready to tear into my burger like a savage. before I could even bite into it tho, my HOUSEPHONE starts ringing at 5am -
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" hello ? "
" hi. ini miss jennifer hendroff kah? "
" er no - "
" ini McDonalds ya. *laughs* itu saya tadi atas moto. burger sedap tak, amoi? "
" what the- "
" dah makan dah? "
" um, is there a problem with my order? "
" ehhhh taklah. panggil je. tak boleh ke? *laughs* kenapa belum makan? "
" *HANGSUP* "
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.. fucking scary lah omgawd. I was up alone so to hear my housephone blare at such an oddhour scared the fuck outta me. since im such a regular, he mustve referred back to the call-list and gotten my housenumber from there as its what I use to order McDs. and McDs is under my moms name so fucker mustve thought it was my name. mom wokeup right after I hungup, and said McDs called her cellphone as well! BLOODY CREEP. I think its a sign from God to stop eating so much Mcds tho o.o

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12/8/2009
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was set on shopping when I got up(: cally cameover and we left for lunch at KDU college around noon.





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& then to Pavillion around 2.30pm. back when clubbing in KL was a habit I was constantly freakedout at how scary people and things always got, and I memang loathe how busy it is in the day so omgawd, was cursing like CRAZY when we were not only stuck in the jam, but in the downpour-_- met with simson and his friends, and juggled between aiding to huntdown his shirt and finding the best thing to splurge my cash on. cally needed to pick some stuff up at SungaiWang so went there for abit before retreating home at 7.30pm. of ash-scoopers, cha flashbacks &crazy comparisons♥

" babe what are you - " candid. but felt stupid carrying the bigass bag all day long.

my new love (:
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13/8/2009
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ethanbaby bunked in my room the night before;

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& SeventeenMag called me in for another shoot around noon, but I passed it up cause it wouldve takenup too much time. left for OU around noon and metup at starbucks with redza as promised, and chatted over my frap for half an hour or so. he waited on me for close to 2hours so felt so bad ;X naomipaigehon is alwaysalways late you see, heh! met with derrick right after and spenttime with my babyyy (: he broke a VERY BIG PROMISE to me the nightbefore so expected to be fucking miffed when I saw him but hes lucky hes so damn adorable, stupid smallboy ;P


was home by 8.30pm. of accidental C's & whipped cream necks♥
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14/8/2009
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spent the majority of the day vegitating infrontve the telly, fixed on a sexy TrueBlood marathon. I was literally sprawled on the couch for hours on end so felt like nothing short of a tiny pig haha. went to;
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.. HartamasSquare with jiarong later at night.




laughed and talked nonstop the entiretime so I enjoyed myself(: was home earlyyyy by 1am. of fucky cellphones, bouncy afros, stubborn-ness, ahdorable maps &chilly stories♥ ate pies and watched horrormovies with the'rents before going to bed at 5am.
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15/8/2009
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I was in super-lazybum mode and couldnt bring myself to get changed in time; so simson if youre reading this im sorry for missing your birthday dinner;( cally and I reached simson's at 10.30pm and mr.birthdayboy was halfgonnnne haha. went to Bangsar, then up to Genting with stephanie, kimberly and caprice+ his friend on a whim right after.


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my cellphone battery DIED during the drive up so was dying ;S forgot to bring my IC as well, so when the stupidguard stopped us and asked me to get outta the car for not having it I was ahnoyed like crazy. after jotting down my IC number &fullname blabla, this oneguard ateup MORE of my time cause he flirtily asked for my cellphone number and permisson to text me, yuckk -_- sipped on hotmilo at McDs upon reaching, & was back in PJ by 6.30am totally knackered! of nicked chocolates &plastic smiles♥
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17/8/2009- 19/8/2009
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BACK TO SCHOOL.


I am innocent, swear. I just wonder if this is visible whenev you pass by SriKL hahah


because 5Beta boys run around shirtless half the time.
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despite being reunited with loves Ive missed so much, it was back to doing absolutely nothing alldaylong, the sucky canteen food and the usual schoollife Ive gotten so used to. I find it sad that most teachers have givenup on 5Beta seeing as we're a PureSciene class, but a relief at the sametime cause its not like any of us bother. honestly cant remember the lasttime I actually LEARNED ANYTHING in school ;X baby surprise visited me in school on Tuesday(:, but other than that nothing outta the ordinary has happened.
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... its 5:25pm and my stomach is growling heh! attempted to re-initiate my NoCarbDiet earlier this week but the biscuits and donuts Ive been sneaking at the wee hours in the morning have BROKEN it so am contemplating giving it a real go in a few days. was unbelievably down in the dumps a coupledays ago but talked to darrenlok till 4am and hes seriously gotten me rethinking alotta things as he made alotta sense. I couldnt be happier with my life the way it is right now but I cant explain the way I feel about things. I hope I get outta this ' stuckinthemiddle ' situation soon omg!;/ goodbyyyyyye people.
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because its easier to be who you are;
when noone knows your name♥

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p/s: these boys fall like dominoes (; hah!
pp/s: sweetbaby give me time to trust, the way I feel about us.
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xxx

hi.

my apologies for neglecting my blog for as long as I did, loves. shall dive riiiight into the updates- Ive been a FUCKING goodgirl lately hehe (;
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25/7/2009 +26/7/2009
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had been dreading the very day for weeks but it finally arrived, so literally hauled myself outta bed. IMAGINE BEING FORCED AGAINST YOUR WILL TO ATTEND A COMPULSORY TWELVEHOUR TALK-THINGY IN CHURCH, omgawd!-_- was late(when am I not?;p) so couldnt grab a frap at starbucks. it was excruciatingly boring, HOT, and by the time the entire ordeal was over I thought I was going to fucking passout.


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got in trouble for walking off without permission during dinnerbreak(as I refused to eat the sucky food and daddy got sick of dropping off snacks for me at that point) and seeing as shalene and I were the only girls outtve the bunch who got caught we were forced to swallow an extra-long lecture, equipped dramatic unnecassary tears expelled by TeacherWhats-her-name. yawn! sat for Confession and mom asked me to handover a bottle of coke to the priest(the very priest who visited my house to 'talk' to me when I ranaway from home lastyear at that!), as a bid to butter him up ;S was back home by 11pm exhausted.
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29/7/2009- 31/7/2009
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on Wednesday, a whole bunchve us were caught by KeropokLady(we refer to her as that cause her face is so damn OILY) and we were made to fry under the hotsun for pontenging Coco. her manvoice freaked me out but all in all it was a wastve time. later at night, I felt sick like a bitch and so I slept the entire day, shooting down simson/wei lun's ajak to shisha. talked to CJ and clarence till 1am.
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for babies cause its cuter (;

the next couplve days were a blurry mesh of zombie-ing around the house, neglecting meds and dreading trips to the hospital. Im scared shitless of needles so a bloodtest for H1NI was the lastthing I wanted! had a high fever and my throat felt as dry as cactus skin, ughh. being sick is not fun :(
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1/8/2009
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after
NINEyears
of attending sundayschool
almost everyweek without fail ;;
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.. Confirmation '09 (:



dolledup, determined to look as innocent and pure as possible (; when mom saw me she said I looked like such a "lie." haha!
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left for church at 5.30pm,

daddy & mom
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.. and the ceremony dragged on till 8.30pm. auntysandy(who was my sponsor) kept me laughing my ass off thruought the thing- from striving to stop her from picking a fight with the horny oldman who kept staring at my thighs sitting next to me, to pointing out the choir took SO LONG to sing even the priest couldnt shield his annoyance, to accidentally KNOCKINGOVER auntysandy in the midst of prayers because I didnt know she was halfasleep.. it wasnt that bad. I was actually beyond happy to finally be confirmed ;D


my sundayschool classmates♥ yknow I may be rejoicing in the fact I no longer have to wakeup at 9am every sunday anymore NOW, but am honestly going to miss them like hell. these faces have been familiar to me since I was 8years old!



" alllllll together now ! "

mom & auntysandy

daddy & sweaty me


nicole, teacherhilary my fav teacher, me, mom (&auntysandy runningaway striving to get outta the shot haha!)

" DADDY STOP TAKING CANDIDS OF ME LAAAAA "
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showered, and changed upon reaching home. metup with derrick at Ou beforehand, and went for his thing at President later on. of greyeyes, sqeakyclean goodness, playboybunny antics &white noses♥ was home by 3am.


ashley, me, cally

see those nicks and cuts? theyre naughty CookieDough baby's doing k! and ohyes, hellllllo fatthighs ;p
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2/8/2009
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the entire fam gathered to eat lunch at Dragon-I, Centrepoint in 'celebration' of me being confirmed. auntivy + babytania cameover after so spent the afternoon chatting over eurasiantea, cakes and playing with babytania(:

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3/7/2009
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HAPPY MANIS ENAMBELAS-th, derrick smallboy(:
after EVERYTHING baby, if you need me to elaborate how much I care or how I feel about you here on my stupid blog or anywhere else Ill whack you ;P ♥you bi.
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shhh! (;
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6/7/2009
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its not like the karipap(or any food on the SriKL menu actually) is good but omgawd, I was so pissed when the canteenlady said nomorekaripaps! ciiibai. went fr CS, but nathan letus off the hook- and thankfully let us off the other 3remaining days we were supposed to be punished as well. have sworn off Asamlaksa and any other typve currymee for the rest of my life since being dosed with a badspell of foodpoisoning earlier this year, so when it was served for lunch I refused to even look at it! natliew, hanis and I resorted to bribing a chubby primary school kid into buying food from the primarycanteen -
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me: boy can you do me a big, BIGGGGG favor? buy me maggi curry please *big smiles*
chubbyboy: youre not allowed to buy food from there. youre a senior lah.
me: yes yes I know, but Im so hungry! please? *sad face*
chubbyboy: hmm.. I need.. tips
me: aiyo no need lah.
chubbyboy: *turns to friend* nothing in this world is free. money is everything now! right? I NEED TIPS.
me: ugh fine, keep the change. just go buy my stupid maggi go!
chubbyboy: *runs off*
hanis: .. for a moment there I thought he said I need TITS ! o.o
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.. the plan failed so in desperation I wentup to mr.whatshisname, all smiles. to my utter surprise he not only agreed to bend the rules to buy maggicurry for us, but he belanja'd us as well! daaaaamn sweet- things like this make me thankful for my hell-scale manipulating skills ;) puan stewardess came in while nat and I were in the midst of slurping our maggicurries, so poured mine out the window- I wonder whos car it landed on, poorfuck;D ponteng'ed koko and a certain toilet incident happened and natliew, hanis and I laughed so FUCKING hard I was in tears by lastbell! lets just say it involves *cough* people climbing onto giantgarbage bins to take illicit pics, almost falling into toiletbowls and running like madcows mid-air. HAHAHA.
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7/8/2009
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walked to the shops despite the blaring hotsun, DETERMINED to buy cigs as I was out and couldnt wait for daddy to buy them for me. got annoyed by rempits along the way and was honestly so scared I took a diff route home. stupid fuckers :/ cally cameover later at night, and went to karaoke on a whim at Pyramid. didnt recognize the majority of songs but I guess thats what happens when you listen to bands people dont know ;X of fuckyourmother flashbacks, korean hooks and peepingnaomis♥ was home by 4.30am.
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8/7/2009
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had lunch at Jayanoodlehouse with the fam, and was tricked into followingsuit on groceryshopping AS PER USUAL ;S went to Ou to spendtime with baby around 5pm(: later at night cally and ashley cameover bearing nyummeh ramliburgers and for a sleepoverrr. watched 'Kids in America' and 'Not Another Teen Movie' before retreating to the guestroombed at 6am.
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for school, oink!




because camslutting is not a crime (;

" naomi and her zebrastripes I tell you"
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9/8/2009(yesterday)
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Im sorry I couldnt save you. Im sorry I didnt fight harder. I dont think Ill ever forgive him for what he did to you but please know all I ever wanted was to takecare of you. he is fucking heartless and I hope he somehow pays for what he did. I hope my dream of seeing you safe, caredfor and at peace comes true soon. I fucking miss you and I cant stop crying thinking about you.
...
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wokeup and my heart fucking broke but its the lastthing I want to get into- before you kuaci's jump to conclusions tho, no, it is not boyrelated. aaaanyway, went back to sleep and wokeup around 5pm. the three of us ate pizza for 'brekkie' and after some bumming around, said our goodbyes and I was off;
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.. to 5Beta's BBQ Classparty at shelly's (:



I ♥ my 5Beta-rians !



shellymermaid love

natliewww

aliens

khairi skinneh nostrils



look at my ass lah OMFG -_- mom keeps asking me to appreciate my eurasian-inherited curves but fucking hell lah.. :/

tekkin nikkid love, who brought me KARIPAP ;D

.. and forced me to take a bigass bite haha!




tija strawberry bigspenderr
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of emoing over jellies, dizzy swings &tortured chickens♥ was home by midnight. ordered McDs brekkie set ay 4am, and called it a night. my undying love for McDs will never falter I tell you ;D
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... its 2.12am and Im currently chatting to sueanne amoigeram online, contemplating whether or not to order McDs again, heh. SRI KL'S SHUTDOWN DUE TO H1N1 FOR A WEEK, so imma indulge in being able to sleep in the restve this week ;) I kinda sorta left all my books in school(seeing as we fucking dont study anyway) so cant wait to see the look on daddys face when I tell him, haha. now that Ive got the whole GoodGirl thing down to pat I really should start stuying- or atleast start to giving a shit about it. hmmm:/ goodniiiight people.
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youve got my head spinning;
heart beatingoutta my chest♥

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p/s: I wish the awkardness, the space between us would fade. will it ever? and I wonder why there are still tangs of hate in my mouth, in my heart whenever we talk.
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I remember all the days past boys broke me, as clear as ever. especially when mysteryboy did.
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I remember waking up every morning, to strawberry sky dusted with white winter powder-sugar sun and wishing I still had him to munch on it with. I spent my nights wishing Id atleast dream about him because I missed every bit of him so much. but the harder I tried to the farther away he seemed to get and I couldnt do anything about it. moving forward, backward- moving in general felt impossible. the day he told me he couldnt love me anymore my heart became this broken teacup with hairline cracks, and I felt that if I even tried to move everything inside me would splinter and break. so I became immobile. too afraid to stay where I was, to look back, to look forward.
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my days were somber and after a certain point I couldnt even feel the hurt anymore. I was nothing but an empty shell, a hollow tunnel of the person I used to be. the loneliness tunneled through my body and all I wanted was to expel the pain outtve my body through stinging, salty tears like all the other boys. all I wanted was to break every reflection so in the mirror Id look like how I felt, pieces. but for months I followed through my normal regimes, honey like salt forever caught im my throat, always on the brink of breakdown. after awhile everything inside switched off and I started expecting shit, looking at the world behind jaded shades. I mean, what happens to rest of something when you smash its heart?
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I just stopped functioning inside. when I looked at junkies I could literally feel their twitching veins and I didnt feel any different- I realised how badly we all ache for our fixes and doses. I guess in a way he was my fix, and I had been jonesing for him. if he were a needle Id be shooting up just like them, flooding my veins with his love. but no longer did I have that. no longer did I have him as my solution or to bite back my pain at the nape of my neck, with his kisses like a panther.
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and then I met this boy. I met my smallboy.
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he saved me when I didnt even know I needed saving. my apotropiac had become running away, hiding behind this glittery gold masquerade mask shielding myself. but he, showed me it was okay to feel again. he made me remember I was alive. and when I realised just how happy he made me I started looking at everything from a different retrospective. its like when you realise your heart is more than an old rotting house- you see theres still splinters of magic living inbetween all the broken, ugly wood. nowadays thanks to smallboy I remember that about life and the heart inside me. and over time I let him in. so much so that hes the one who refuses to let me break into pieces, putting me together every night. now that hes become a part of my everyday no longer do I need drugs, or to lose myself in between musicbeats. he has become all I need.
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today, just like a few nights before I found myself indulging in my apotropiac once again.
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the more I realise Im falling the more I have to fear. Ive gotten so used to depending on nothing else but myself, the way he makes me feel scares the shit outta me. I question whether Id ever be enough for him- after all the boys and hurt I feel like Im this empty candymachine, like Ive given so much of myself up in every kiss, every Iloveyou under my breath I have nothing else to give. will what I have left inside ever be enough? will I ruin him? does he deserve more than me? smallboy Im sorry you have to fight so hard. I cant promise Ill never get like this again but know that the only reason I do this is cause I care so much. you are amazing. please, do not make me regret letting you in♥
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xxx

hello.

despite the transcending boredom thats come along with my recent bid on morphing into a mini MotherMary, finally disposing of oldhabits and cutting back on a handful of things, I quite honestly couldnt be happier with the way things are at the mo (: updates here we goo.
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14/7/2009
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was persistent on NOT changing outta pyjammies so jasonkok cameover a little before midnight. on normterms right, my 'rents are cool with anyone coming over. my house is pretty much a walkin hotel for my BFFS and I anyway so latenight visits or drop-ins are anything but foreign. I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS, that daddy would CHASE him outtve the house. it was fucking mortifying but apparently daddy forbids anyone whos hurt me in the past(especially exboyfs) from even talking to me. omgawd lah-_-
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in the midst of dismissing daddys "why do even still talk to him?!"-esque questions, angrily puffing away on my cig, daddy runs to the frontgate saying there was a puppy right out front, and starts laughing away at how cute it was. I go outside and lay a palmful of food down for it before proceeding back inside as I was too damn pissed for anything at that point:/ talked to derrick till 2am and called it a night.
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15/7/2009
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HAPPY LEGAL LAPANBELAS-th, cally yam (:



I wont even try elaborating on everything weve been through, as only you and I know the truth behind ALL those nightsout, and everything else! all the boys, drama &chaos changed me so much and I couldnt be more thankful that you were there helping me through every bit of it. Bffff, ILY. you will forever be nothing short of a sister to me♥
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skipped school. groggily made my way downstairs to hunt for brekkie only to get the shock of my life. the stray dog from the nightbefore somehow WANDERED into my HOUSE. better yet- my entire fam assumed I brought it in when I didnt! called daddy straight and he said it was up to me what I wanted to do with it. it wasnt getting along with my other 2dogs so I was fucking freakingout but wanted to takecare of the darling so badly. finally settled on laying the decision to rest till mom gets back, so did what I could by giving it food and whatnot.
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got dressed, and went for my SeventeenMagazine photoshoot around lunchtime. its no biggie and it might be the third time Id be featured but its always good fun going whenev Im called. lookout for tiny me in Octobers issue(;




went to McDs with jasonkok after. derrick and mingda joined later on, and was home by 7.30pm.
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16/7/2009
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couldnt be arsed to see mashitface so mr.pikachu being the usual manisheart he is, said hed be okay with carrying the damn thing to the teachersroom after lastperiod(: mom came home after almost a MONTH of her being gone and it felt really nice to have her back again. decided on keeping the puppy!;D cally cameover at night just to catchup since its been ages since I last saw her, and left before midnight. talked to derrick before konging.



Artproject- so relieved its the last Ill hear of anything remotely related to Art till trials kay!

&& introducing the Hon familys newest fourlegged addition, miss CookieDough.
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17/7/2009
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took comfort in the cold, comfy, pillowed depths of the counsellor's room with kellie aunntie for 3periods straight. hadnt been there before but kellie assured me it was a nice place to sleep, and that we wouldnt get into shit(after being pestered as much as I have lately by the teachers the lastthing I want is to give them more ammunition) so wentalong, and seeing as the counsellor didnt come in till the last 10minutes discovered what a perfect place it was to kill time. couldnt take my gastric pangs anymore so skipped on lunch with the girls, and gary temaned me till I went back.
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took CookieDough to the vet in the evening. daddy kept teasing asking me to change its name to " bods(short for bodoh)" and " wanda(as it 'wanda'ed into the house)" thruought the thing. vet said shes about 4-6weeks old and prolly went through a bout of trauma by the way it acts. sob, my pretty Cookiedough;'( revised history for 3hours straight before sleeping at 3am.
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18/7/2009
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went to school on a Saturday-_- SriKL ohh SriKL. sat for my History &BM papers, and went for lunch with the 'rents after. napped, and the fam and I went to Parade for dinner. Im a goodgirl now(; hahahaha.
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19/7/2009
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SundaySchool classparty. brought an OD of chocolate and chatted with maison the whole time through as usual(: had japanese with the fam after, and was forced to followsuit on the grocery shopping. wentup to get smokes from mom in the midst of watching TheCity marathon, and got a fucking HEARTATTACK when I opened the door, meeting this elderly indonesian masseuse massaging my moms back. fucking hell I didnt even know anyone cameover kay o.o bonded with ethanbaby and watched Otis before konging at 2am.
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20/7/2009 + 21/7/2009 + 22/7/2009
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2nd Monthly Test continued and having not put any effort into studying whatsoever(even when derrick manisly offers to study with me), Im pretty positive my grades are going to suck complete and utter cicakballs. had PrivateMathTuition at shalenes as usual and am glad to say the lessons are getting increasingly fun;D


^ my Math paper. HAHAHAHHAA.

classmates. hahaha.
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23/7/2009
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talked to cally and derrick till 3am the nightbefore so was knackered when I got up. skippedschool, and headed down to Bangsar. got my eyebrows done, and then hair done at ShawnCutler- where I was intrigued as hell the whole time with the ex-heartbreaker lookalike o.o
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shopped, and met khal at Delicious.

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he temaned me till I was satisfied with my shopping and then I spontaniously agreed to take him up on his offer to visit his mom, who was in the hospital. went to GlenEagles in KL. a certainsomething happened and it caught me totally offguard- initially felt rotten and I refuse to say anymore except that Mr.smallboy is fucking lucky;P was home by 8.30pm.


hadnt been to any hospitals in close to a year so looked like an idiot, not knowing what to do when they were checking for swineflu at the entrance. hahah
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24/7/2009(today)
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had lunch with tija strawberry bigspender at AC afterschool, and couldnt have been more glad that the two of us talked things out. I came to know of *cough*alot of shit but its nice that her and I are back to our normal Maoni+Bigspenderr state lah (: was supposed to go to Pyramid with madeline serangga but she had to send her boyf back, so went with tija right after lunch. was hommmme by 5pm. of jakun candy, enlarged pigs && lemonsprites♥
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... its 10:02pm as I type this. the 'rents are out drinking, so am babysitting my babybrothers +cousin Sarah, whos down from malacca. people around me have been commenting on how glad they are my lifestyles shifted and having just gone through todays post I realised how spot on they are. if youre not an avid reader you wouldnt know the level of chaos I used to go through on a dailybasis months back. I honestly sortve miss being as carefree as I was but hey, like I said- life couldnt get any better at this point (; goodbyyyye people.
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This is fact not fiction;
for the first time in years♥

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p/s: hey youu mr.smallboy? I dont know how youve managed to break down these walls, but thankyou♥
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xxx

hey.

have recently been so engulfed in everything thats been going on lately, Ive neglected my blog to a pretty high extent, abandoning it for longer than I usually do haha. so my apologies loves! have finally decided to get the updates over and donewith tonight. its going to be a helluva long one, but updates here we gooo (;
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25/6/2009
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had been continuously working on completing my Moralfolio all weeklong, and only had the photos of me doing 'kerja amal' to printout left so could hardly wait to bid goodbye to the bloodything. went to Parade after school with sueanne amoigeram;
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and had dinner at Swensons while waiting to collect my photos.



coincidental matching babytees.
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sneakpeek at my pointless, ridiculous kerja amal photos?




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hahaha. it was supposed to be our final outing together till August, so said our goodbyes before retreating home at midnight;( of overstuffing ourselves, embrassed cows, memorylanes, hairband fetishes, pao'd lighters and stalking icecreams♥
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26/5/2009
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was so fucking frustrated thruought the day as teacher after teacher summoned me, striving to inject smalltalk on the petiest of things for no damn reason. as if I was some sortve convict they feared would breakout if they didnt guard me, bloody hell-_- had lunch with natliew, tiffbaby etc at AC afterschool before getting a surprise text from sueanne saying she planned on deliberately missing her flight and was on the way to join me, haha! so she followed me home and was officially the 2nd friend to bear witness to how things are in the SriSedaya van;P
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watched 'Tale Of Two Sisters' and 'Boys Dont Cry' before konging on the guestroom bed at 4am.

of bitchy DVD players &&au pairs♥
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27/6/2009
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having been frustrated and driven over the edge, sueanne charged to OU determined to see her boyf for answers. hatsily acted on instinct so headed to OU, and the psycho mission began.
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tried to cooloff over dinner at Delicious;



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&after numerous calls we marched over to GSC, sueanne with her "my brothers inside I cant reach his phone, our mothers in the hospital!" lie ready as ammunition.

didnt have to use the excuse in the end tho, as we forgot how easily smitten and naive malaysian boys can be;P so we hunted down the theater and entertained ourselves waiting for her boyf's movie to end.





the two talked it out and tommy convinced us to follow him to yumcha at Al-safa, so we did. was pretty miffed cause he promised us a ridehome and whatnot but fellthrough on it. props to derrick who was a manisheart and went all out to ensure we got home safe(:! was back at 1am. passedup a session offer at Eastin as we were both too knackered. of hilarious pre-pounce mode &KL reminices♥
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28/6/2009
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headed to church late on purpose as the deignated time for the trip was only after class and couldnt be bothered to sit through it.



morning smokes
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my sundayschool classmates and I poured into the bus and was on the way to CheshireHome, a home for the disabled in ShahAlam by noon.


maison, who woke up at 5:45am to run to the market to buy ingredients for the potatosalad he promised me. I honestly never thought he was serious hed cook for me, so was tres touched! he even put it in a special coolercontainer to keep it cool! tasted delish and it was fuckingfucking sweet of him(:


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started tearing upon arrival as seeing how happy the members of the home were made me feel absolutely rotten for all the times I wished I had more of this&that. was beyond nervous as I couldnt figureout just how I was going to communicate with them, but everyone turned out to be so friendly! served them their lunches, and performed an array of songs while they ate with maison on guitar. mingled, playedgames, and it was seriously one heck of an experience as I had never visited a home before. was home by 5pm, and was left with the impact the trip gave me the restve the day.






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29/6/2009
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arrived in school in an extra grumpy demeanor. clarence was a manisheart, texting me in the morning to check in my bagpocket. checked and poof! there lied the surprise yummy Kitkatchunky bar(: vented to sueanne when I got back and she cheered me up, one of her tactics being Boo-ing me so direly I fell on my butt;S bummed the day away feasting on yummy gardenia butterscotch bread(omgawd, try it! it was so good we literally ate it plain!), emo'ed under the starts smoking menthol cigs out on my rooftop, and dedicated the night to exboyf talk. slept at 6am.

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30/6/2009
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BS'ed a 'cramp' excuse to mom who had just touched down in Jakarta, and got to skipschool so sleptin till 1pm. learned later in the day that my classteacher texted my rents asking why I wasnt present. maybe Im not aware of some newrule installed in SriKL but why in gods name would you BOTHER going all out to consult a student's parents the MORNING theyre not present? was ahnoyed like crazy- even at home the teachers cant seem to get off my case! thankfully DIDNT get selected for NS;D was initially pretty freaked when I saw the ' MAAF!' at the start of the text cause I thought it was like, " maaf youre life is over, youre chosen " kinda thing;P

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now lets play a guessing game, eh? ;D
{edit: there are quite a number of pics I decided to not post but the impact the few below have made already is fucking hilarious- you loves wouldnt BELIEVE the amount of people who have been ASSUMING it was them lately(;]


I crave for attention, screaming and making the MOST possible noise everywhere I go. I go to the gym on a regular basis but my belly still sticksout no matter what it is I do. HMMMM(;

I am NOTHING without my boyfriend. HMMMMM(;

I have sepeteyes, FATcheeks and my heads twice the size of my body. I lookd own on people who dont possess designer goods but my bigsecret is my daddys in blackbusiness. if you look closely, I have the face of a droopy 60year old's! ;O HMMMM.

about a year ago, I was nothing sort of a GEEK. recently Ive started trying hard to look hot, with contacts and makeup.. but my cina-apek accent remains. HMMM(;

I am an abusive boyfriend. and my dicks less than 6cm long yet I act so damn hot. HMMM;)

I fake an accent around whitepeople and 'slut' runs in my familyname. I pretend to be wild but in truth, my fuckedup mom doesnt let me go out at all. I think Im hot now that Ive lost weight but fuck, 'em thunderthighs will be back as soon as my bullimia dies again! HMMM(;

.. now the only UN-insulting picture. I think the boy Im immitating here is ahmazing inside and out(:
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headed out for a session at KK later at night;

and rushed home at 6.30am.
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1/7/2009
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hastily showered and got dressed for school having only 20minutes to spare since getting home. sueanne decides to follow me to school on impulse, haha! played a devious Cat &Mouse game alldaylong with the teachers as I temaned her inbetween periods as well as during my freeperiods. asked derrick to teman me for lunch, but the second daddy came to take me home due to fam issues he calls saying hes at the gate! omgawd I felt so bad kayy :(
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spent the night working on an apology card, and sueanne worked on her love letter.



planned on hopping into the back of patrick's car to secrely deliver our letter &card into their mailboxes, in our hoodies and boxers but we FELL DEAD ASLEEP after emotalking in mom's jacuuzi. slept through a total of FIVE booming alarms and calls+texts but I guess thats what happens when you go 35hours without sleep. so "MailboxMission" was a dud;(
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2/7/2009
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school was sosooooo. spent the day working on my artwork and being tangled in the usual chatter+ patiocigarettes+ piggingout before going for session at KK again later at night.


gray. guess who's picture *cough* is his wallpaper on his blackberry? ;)

sueanne & bryan (;

got home at 6.15am. of pyjama paranoia, nostalgic pangs, flyinghair, sweet mints &bullying♥
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3/7/2009
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was the most attentive Ive been in a longtime in school, haha. had a heart2heart with calista on the benches in the girls toilet and I was thankful for it♥ mashitface asked me to REDO my artwork when I went to see her before meeting with sueanne who was waiting for me in the Admin, ergh. sitting at AC in that sortve weather was OUT OF THE QUESTION so opted for small, boring, AIRCONDITIONED 'FlirtNFeed' nearby for lunch.



derrick and tommy joined, and was supposed to join calista but couple drama exploded preventing that from happening. chatted to darrenkhoo for an hour before going home. the cabbie was so RUDE, I gave him 5ringgit worth of 10cent COINS on purpose;O whoops hahha. had our first real meal in days and only got to my artwork after persuasian from mr.smallboy(: had a deeptalk and finished a whole pack of pallmallmenthols before getting to my art, and giving up at 5am. by that point we were so tired the room was literally SHAKING:/ of meeting male me, giveaway phonecalls &phillipino plughelpers♥
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4/7/2009
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skipped school.

went to SS12 with daddy to purchase wood for my ArtProject, and he was so grumpy I was on my toes the entire time. napped in the afternoon, and devoured pizza till sueanne went 'home' at 10pm. worked on my Art and sueanne deliberately planned on missing her flight again so snuck her in at 2am. daddy had come back from drinking mere SECONDS before sueanne snuck in so got a damn heartattack when I opened the gate only to see she was in my HOUSE already(crazygirl snuck my keys out to boo me hahaha). ordered McDs brekkie at 4am, and the sudden strongwing at night was super freaky. to our surprise our yummy SausageMcMuffin with Egg came with a bar of chocolate!;P slept at 6am.


" hmm what do I wanna eat now.. "

of dustcovered faces, almost shed secrets and vomitcooking♥
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5/7/2009
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skipped sundayschool, halle-fucking-lujah;D worked on my ArtFolio as well as Project the ENTIREDAY. sueannes dad paid us a surprisevisit and after some reassuarence he went back no longer than 5minutes after. sueanne craved for pasta and I needed artsupplies so headed to OU in the evening.



ate dinner at Delicious, and derrick temaned us buying artsupplies and whatnot after for a couplve hours(:
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shared a slice of cake at SecretRecipe with my amoigerammm before heading home at 11pm.

worked on my Artwork till 3am before sleeping. of manlyness, daddys love, paranoia, sweet manipulation, sponge love &&finally finding him♥
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6/7/2009
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skippedschool without asking permission from the 'rents for the firsttime. woke up 3minutes prior to McD's brekkie ordering time ending so RUSHED to order the usual round of Sausage McMuffin with egg;D sueannes daddy rung the housephone in the middle of the day, and all sueanne did was scream " dont kacau people lah yorh! " and hangup, HAHHAA. worked on my artwork nonstop till 4pm, and took a shortbreak before restarting the hustle till 6pm. by then I had abosolutely no energy left for PrivateMathTuition so cancelled it and napped instead. wokeup and continued. daddy was hustling to finish it as much as I was so THANKYOU DADDY♥♥♥ slept at 6am.


FUCKING FINALLY.
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7/7/2009
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HAPPY SEXY TUJUHBELAS-th, madeline serangga(:

having worked as hard the nightbefore and having 3mere hours of sleep, I slept through the entireday at school. only time I was partly awake;


.. was when we cut cake during recess(:
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putoff handing in my Artproject +Folio as my classmates were struggling to finish, so only went to see MASHITFACE during lastperiod. shielding myself with a strong facade, prepared to takeon criticism for my lastminute work, I was completely taken aback to the degree of criticism the bitch started hoarding onto me. she literally HELDUP my fucking project and asked her colleages to see how ' hodoh ' it was. I went through half an hour of sheer taunting and couldnt take it, I bit my lip but the tears just started flowing. eventhen she was heartless and continued slaughtering my work. I tried explaning its the best I could manage what with the deadline being today and she tells me she actually LIED cause she knew I was 'malas.' MOTHERFUCKING CIBAI FUCK. returned to class crying like a baby and mr.pikachu +my 5beta loves cheered me up.
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sueanne, derrick and daddy comforted me upon reaching home and after a few cigs I stopped sobbing. daddy promised to ring mr.chew and also to redo the entire project for me(: was so drained fellasleep riiight after jasonkoks(whos got swineflu! o.o) call at 11pm.

sueanne's wearing MY ENEMY hahaha.

2weeks worth. whoops!
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8/7/2009
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daddy allowed me to rest at home(: so sleptin till 1pm, showered and wentaround Oldtown with daddy(who took halfday off work for me) before proceeding to spend 2full hours at the hardware store in Jaya33. previously despised hardwarestores before but after those 2hours my hatred for it oddly deceeded, haha. had lunch and daddy worked on my project fullheartedly all day while I rested thanks to horrid *banana woes :/ was too tired to go for session so ordered McDs, and the bothve slept at 4am.



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9/7/2009
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HAPPY SEXY TUJUHBELAS-th, sueanne amoigeram!!

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kicked off her bday with a puff of a cigarette, HAHAHA. as usual I went to school while she sleptin so in school, mashitface and I crossed paths but not a breath or word was uttered(; carried out a PUTRID Bio experiment where the boys were made to drink specific amounts of water and pee into bottles, YUCKKK. literally flung my Handsanitizer at them edging them to slobber in on while darling shellymermaid and I kept our distance, haha. was supposed to go for dinner to celebrate amoigerams Bday but she was too tired to go, and daddy was too tired to driveout to get a cake, so stayedin and did the usual- felt rotten tho:( passedup darrenlok's ajak to Maison and chomped on McD's, deeptalking till rubesh and his cousin from aussie visited at 3am. caughtip with mr.rubbish and they left around 5am. bryan dropped over sueanne's supermanis bday gift and after everything was over and donewith, we konged at 6am.

" you look crucified. "
" Im fucking full naomi! what did you feeeeeeed me! " HAHAHA.


of hiding fiats, preventing gate-jumping catastrophes, proven theories &morphing into miss old&haggard♥
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10/7/2009
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skipped school, making it the 3rd day I pontenged that week. my left eye started being a bitch, and I was fuh-reaked out cause never had I had any eyeproblems before. sueanne being the eye-problem expert(& me being the throat expert!) tried analyzing it but my worrying escaladed from there on out. waited for daddy to return from work before buying sueanne's cake and seeing the doctor, where she said it was due to stress. went in without daddy by my side, giving him a faux 'female' excuse as I didnt want to risk him seeing my tonguepiercing when the doctor asks to say 'ahh'! he shall remain the ONLY member in the fam that doesnt know about any of my piercings till the end of SPM kay;P ate nonstop thruought the day, from dinner to McDs(which came with a free hashbrown!) to cake.. we were both on the verge of exploding! haha. fell asleep in the evening and wokeup around midnight, so couldnt makeit for Cally's birthday dinner, felt horrible ;( slept at 7am.
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11/7/2009
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wokeup to the guestroom door being pounded onto with what seemed like fucking IRONfists at 2pm. dragged ourselves outta bed and sueanne left for Singapore ;'( SHE HAD BEEN LIVING WITH ME, BEEN THERE WITH ME 24/7 FOR THE LAST MONTH so it felt fucking odd going about everything without her! mygawd the THINGS weve gone through in the last month has been, whoa. and forever will she be one of the people who knows me the best and a sister to me- looking forward to August babe!(; uncle kenny and baby imal visited and only left pretty late into the day. at night, I chose HOMEWORK over CLUBBING so slaved over it while derrick went Coco. told you bitches Im changing(: a certain something happened and it got me so embarassed and sad I couldnt sleep despite how tired I was, but it was sorta sorted out before my head re-hit my zebra pillowcase. stupid smallboy never do that to me again;S slept in my own bed after godknows how long at 6am.
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... its a sunday today and follwedsuit on the regular sunday regime, which concludes of boringass sundayschool and lunch with the fam after. just realized what a pig Ive been lately- think Ive consumed more than 20burgers in the last 2weeks! haha. my sleepingcycles still fucked but am striving to get it back onto a school-appropriate track. ArtProjects drove me insane but a few more finishing touches and Im HOME FREE. 2nd monthlytest begins this saturday tho, so its like fuckk :/ time feels as if its literally disentigrating under my fingertips, mm. goodluck studying you guys! goodbyeee (:
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beautiful;
dirtydirty
richrich♥

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p/s: because you could be my cure.
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xxx

hey.

from a second persons perspective, the last week may have seemed no different than any other, but I truly believe something inside me has altered on a large scale. Ive somewhat reached this point in my life where Ive learned to stop striving to fix relationships that do not deserve to be reignited. its either Im too tired of fighting so hard for things like gettingover Mysteryboy, or this recent blatent nonchalance is legit. anyway, updates here we go (:

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15/6/2009
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attended PrivateMathTuition at shalene's, and left no less than 10minutes upon reaching home;

.. for dinner at Kopitiam with sueanne amoigeram, calista, and tija strawberry bigspenderr. retreated home at midnight. it was a disaterously emotional night after, went to bed feeling like utter crap(and no fool, dont assume it was cause I saw you!).
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16/6/2009
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the principal +classteacher rung my 'rents the day before, so brushed off the emotional talk forced onto me in the midst of the day. the lasttime I got called into his office I gavein, and have had a great sense of love and respect for my principal since but ohmygawd, now only do I sense the FORCED compassion he strived to fucking inject into me in attempts of.. I dont know lah. Im just beyond glad my 'rents have my back(mom even YELLING at my classteacher for not having 'phone ettiqette haha) as they are fullyaware of so&so's rotten attempts to harvest information/ force me to admit to shit I didnt do. at times like this I appreciate my 'rents even more than I already do.
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17/6/2009- my 17th birthdayyyy bitches ;D
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tija strawberry bigspenderr cameover at 11pm;

armed with an ahdorable slice of cake for me to blow the candles in my boxers at midnight, and with hugs.
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promptly after gettingoff the phone with darrenlok and adenauer, tija had an asthma attack! o.o rushed to Assuntahospital and everything was thankfully fine in the end- found it hilarious how I ended up at a HOSPITAL at 3am on my BIRTHDAY tho, haha. she sleptover and I went to bed feeling all mushy&happy, whatwith all the sweet birthday wishes at 6am. skippedschool(as I have done EVERYBIRTHDAY since standard1 ;o) and sleptin, till sueanne cameover and woke us up at 9am.
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had dimsum at OldTown,

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and napped strewn all over the basement couches till 11am. setout to MidV during the evening, and watched 'Drag Me To Hell.' had dinner at esquirekitchen and rushed home early so my babybrothers wouldnt be forced to stayup past their bedtime waiting for my return.

1st half of my 17th birthday gift. my heart is aching waiting for my Gucci!
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cut cake with the fam;

.. and the darlings left after midnight. it was a helluva simplebirthday but I didnt have any real plans, despite the majority of people I know somewhat expecting me to go all out, go crazy for some reason. blargh, puhlease(; I wanted a simple, love-filled day and I got it. plus the once-a-year-feeling where youre buzzing with the undescribable mixture of warmth, hope, and anxiousness? more than enough to go off on! of freezingfines, personal translators, endless hugs &hoodies♥
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18/6/2009
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despite having a sufficient amount of sleep the nightbefore, I was asleep practically ALL DAY LONG. I slept the entire 1st period off, through 3rd period, flatonmyface in the library the entire lastperiod(and snored so loud it was caught on video for the FOURTH time this year haha), the entire journey home from school, for 3hours right after coming home from school, and while watching telly after waking up from my nap I fell asleep- again! felt like a fucking PIG omgawd -_-
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19/6/2009
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school consisted of freeperiod after freeperiod YAWN. sueanne amoigeram visited me in school at 11am and spent the last couplve periods with her and a big bunchve people, killing time in the icecold classroom chatting till the lastbell went off. shared (evil)fishandchips at Flirt'n'Feed and had a drink at AC before going back to sueanne's around 2pm. spontaniously decided on sleepingover, and was DYING cause I felt naked without my belongings/cellphone as the stupid battery died! :|

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fortold yet another sleepless night so napped for 2hours, before setting out for dinner with tekkin nikkid at Ikea(where my amoi blew her last 10smackeroons on meatballs;P ) stoned at Hartamas, and later SouledOut with nikkid's friends where I was bored outtve my brains, and restless without my baby cellphone, sob! I swear my thumbs were literally itching to text. went back to stayover at nikkid's in Sierramas, bumping into this ginormous python on the roadside alongtheway, eugh. Yumcha'd at 4am, and slept bunked together at 6am.

when nikkids desk is left untouched for 1month..

FUCKING PUTRID MAGGOTS TAKEOVER ERGHHH

solution?

BURN em mothafuckers ;D hahahaha

of icky urinewater, throwneggs, cherryplans, &crouched runaway preperations♥
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20/6/2009
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wokeup at 8am to nikkids alarm -_- was so hungry I contemplated running outta the house with carkeys but decided to cook brekkie instead.

sueanne and I, dont even know how to cook MAGGIMEE so it was quite a feat! couldnt bring myself to brave my fear of the stove so sueanne fried the eggs instead, fucking hilarious ;P waited for bryanC to come and in the midst of the crazy jam onthewayhome, my daddys alfaromeo stops RIGHT SMACK INFRONTVE bryans car- what are the odds mygawd?! sueanne and I ducked for dearlife till he was outta sight hahah.
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RUSHED LIKE CRAZY to get dressed &reached Shokolart, Montkiara around 4pm for my tiny 17th Bday Tea.

shalene my missy.

chocolate satay HAHA

nikkid + gilagirl thru thick &thin

cally my BABE.

it was tres lastminute so 3very important darlings couldnt attend :( but it went okay, it was a quiet dessertdate with my closet knit of darlings(: if only I had more of an appetite tho! the idiot waiter who couldnt fathom a single word of english irritated the shit outtve me, I handed him my creditcard and he said TWICE, that they didnt accept my card there despite my 'rents ringing beforehand to doublecheck they did. when mom started yelling the manager gave us a 10% discount claiming I handed them an ' International Dance Club ' -bloody cicakshit :/ but whatev. deconstructed with the help of longg, hot showers and sueanne went back before midnight. was up till 5am. of differentworlds, dirtyboys, coverlines &limauice repetitions♥
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21/6/2009
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HAPPY DADDYS DAY, daddy (:

Im far from fitting the characteristics of an idealdaughter, but you accept me anyway. I dontknow whether the silence will ever fade, but I hope to god you know I love you with all my heart. oneday daddy, Ill show you. Ill show you that everything Ive ever worked hard for, everything Im working hard towards, is to make you proud. oneday you will not be ashamed or dissapointed in me daddy, I promise. you will forever be the person I lookup to most in my life.
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chatted to Maison thruought sundayschool and he somehow convinced me to take part in the visit to some home nextweek. my role in the thing is to write an official article for my church's newspapers and argh, was planning to duckout! but its hello disabledpeople nextweek I guess. as long as maisons there(with his guitar &the potatosalad hes making me) it should go okay. had Japanese for lunch, and the boys and I gave him his gifts later in the evening. kept to my vow and stayed home for daddys sake.

random. FUCKING AHDORABLE ERASERS WHICH MAKE ME SO HAPPY.

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... got called into the principals office again today -_- I wonder when he'll stop fretting over me the way he does? and whether things'll ever regain its balance. have got my 40page overdue MoralFolio to complete, as well as my ArtProject so am bracing myself for longnights hoarded over my strewnbooks and more stress-attacks! grr. on normterms Im capable of taking on so much more, but hopefully Ill keep my composure amogst the overdue work and everythingelse. goodbyeeee people (:
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&& I said goodbye to you;
goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved;
the one thing that I tried to hold on to♥

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p/s: you were my sisters. I dont know what to do or say anymore.
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so Im officially SEVENTEEN today!
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it seriously blows my fucking mind thinking back to the way my world was a year ago! I had a completely different circle of friends, looked+acted vastly different and had yet to experience a shitload of things. the memories made, the lessons learned.. Ive grown alot since turning manis16 and though I never wouldve imagined being where I am in life right now, I never have and never will be ashamed of everything I stand for today. despite being scared, I lookforward to everything thats coming my way and ohmygawd, seeing as how the lastyears been I cant even imagine what the next year in my life will bring! .. life at seventeen here we come (:

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the next fewdays are going to be utterly tattered, unplanned messes as always but when have I not been worth the wait? ;) till then loves.
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hey.

I cannot even begin to digest the fact that school is restarting tomorrow. the very thought of being compelled to put a halt to all the plans&routines is fucking depressing. I may adore school but, mm. anyway, updatesss(;
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9/6/2009
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wokeup early(fucking earliest Ive wokenup these hols, was pretty proud of myself;P) around noon, and met cally darling in Bangsar. caughtup over lunch at Marmalade,

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had icecream at baskinrobbins after getting our eyebrows done,

chocolatechipcookiedough

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.. &decided to get pedicures at my fav manipadi shop, Kukubar.


french pediiii's. mine's on the right.
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yknow, me and an old BFF of mine used to get mani/pedis on a such a frequent basis lastyear. alot may have changed since then, but its tres dissapointing how I hardly make time to pamper myself nowadays:/ bought slices of cake from Delicious for mom, and was home by 6pm. was supposed to go out again with cally at 10pm but was exhausted. talked to clarence and vegitated infrontve the telly, buried under bags of keropok till konging at 5am. of jampi-casting rabbits, wrongly lit cigs, faux rempits &psycho cabbies♥
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10/6/2009
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chaotically emotional day. blame it on the hormones or the numerous issues I found myself suddenly aware of and entangled in, but I was sobbing like a baby for hours on end. Ive gone through SO much over the years, the wreck of a state I was in surprised even me. as per usual Im not going into details on things as personal as this, but all Im going to say is; I wish I didnt seethrough the fake facades & acidlies the people I used to trust the most in my life was throwing my way so easily. it has always taken alot before I let someone in so to have discovered what I discovered, fucking shattered my heart.
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11/6/2009
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happy 19th, darren lok(: its funny how after all weve been through I dont have a picture of us.
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bummed the day away before sueanne amoigeram(who was previously away for pangkor with her fam for abit) picks me up around 8pm. we restock on cigs, and I lug my bigass pink velvet bag filled to the brim with stuff to her place. we take showers blabla, and headout to Yumcha with adenaur and markian at Kopitiam later at night. we were chitchatting for so long we ended up being the last ones there, with the bhangra workers waiting impatiently to closeshop till 1.30am haha.
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promptly after reaching home, we headover to tekkin nikkid's.



bryan chan.

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didnt sleep for a second allnight long. a certain something happened at 4am, but never will the secret escape our lips(; of powerful pinky promises, awkard+ hilariously moving monstrosities, first ketuls &language barriers♥ sueanne, bryran, gray and I left tekkin's around 8am.
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12/6/2009
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the four of us had brekkie at McD's where we were faced with a fucking racist cashier(who's ass got bitten by karma when she gave us extra RM20 change HAHA) and was back at sueanne's by 11.30am. I showered, and rushed like crazy to meet calista(who was fresh back from Indon) at AC as promised while sueanne stayed home.


bumped into keith, vincent etc before going to calista's for lunch.


calista love
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went back to sueanne's around 5pm. changed, and napped for a petty 2hours only to wakeup wishing we hadnt napped as we felt worse than ever as soon as our eyes reopened. was supposed to yumcha but neither of us posessed the mood or appetite to, so decided against it in the end, resting in our pyjammies instead.


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we shower, and headout to tekkin nikkid's onceagain at 1-ish am. the night goesby on a repetitive but happier note, and we're up all night again. of manis-as-fuck tictacs, heartbreaking stories, redwine &uncalled for dramatic pauses♥ left around noon.




gray.


nikkid
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13/6/2009
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we hastily shower upon reaching sueanne's as we only had 10mins to get dressed. sueanne's dad takes us out for brekkie nearby and sueanne and I go over to my place after. was DAMN FUCK STRUNGOUT but couldnt sleep or reveal how our bodies were dying, as my fam+sueanne leave for Pavillion to shop for my Bday gift minutes after reaching home. daddy and the boys leave earlier, so had plenty of time for mom, sueanne and I to bond(:
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ended up choosing to wait*insidething. as heartwrenching as it was Id rather wait than to settle for something I didnt really want, sigh! :/ mom and I shared cigs and a frap at CoffeeBean before heading home at 5pm. of newfound love+respect for mom, impossible signboards, 3kg losses, faux techno tunes &red cheeks♥ took longggg showers and mygawd, by night sueanne and I were walking carcrashes o.o chose our health over everything by declining offers to club/drink, and slept at 11pm. by that point, I was running on absolutely NO SLEEP FOR FORTYTHREE HOURS &NO FOOD FOR 2DAYS.
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14/6/2009(today)
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fighting to sleep the nightbefore was a sheer battle. wokeup at 8am, and attended Sundayschool in jeans, vans, and with no makeup on. the fam went for the usual Sundaylunch while I joined a snoring sueanne in the guestroom till 3pm. sueanne left in the evening, and auntyivy+ fam came over soon after. spent the day aiding my hoarse throat and babysitting babytania. I seriously wonder how Im going to manage properly answering the typical " How'd your hols go? " question tomorrow o.o imagine trying to explain the last 2weeks if you were me? haha. but fuckkit. its going to be difficult as usual, getting back into routine but I always manage(: MY 17TH BIRTHDAY IS IN 3DAYS! ;D hee. goodniiiight people.
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no matter what gets in my way;
as long as theres still life in me
no matter what remember;
you know I'll always come for you♥

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p/s: I regret not picking you over him all those months ago.
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hey.

where do I even begin? the last week has been nothing short of pure chaos, and I have adored every millisecond. its going to be a helluva update so dont hold your breath, loves (;
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30/5/2009
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hastily got my hair done at SS2, and I loathed the initial outcome of it so much, that I SPAT my chewinggum into the namecard the salon owner handed to me infrontve everyone. just because Im Eurasian, this hairdresser bitched about me in mandarin assuming I wouldnt comprehend shit so she DESERVED IT. rushed to calista's, and got dolled up together(: then cally and waikit came, and cally was sucha doll for helping me fix my 'fakeeyelash dilemma'! LYbabe
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reached SunwayResortHotel ay 8.30pm for Sri KL's Charity Dinner 2009.


cally love

table seventeeeeen. my fav number(:

I had a dress MALFUNCTION, so this was my reaction when tijas date texted saying he had a safetypin! haha

aaron ng, gabriel wong

kavin my hubbie in class HAHHAA

tiffany baby, tija strawberry bigspenderr

gorg natliew

gary kang

zue yi

chermaine, zueyi, me, esther, yee leng

madeline serangga, me, kellie aunntie, tija, calista

alia putri

tekkin my nikkid

kellie chin, my aunnnntie

whoops

faris, whom I still owe a wax ;P



bestforlast. MY DARLINGS WHOM I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART, calista & tija

clarence my chickenson. ask him who his date was that night ;) HMM.
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left around midnight, and headed to Barce after. was with cally, calista, clarence, brandonkoh, sam, zhengwei etc (: of spilleddrinks && jealousyspells. was too beat to go home so stayed the night at calistas. baked cupcakes, showered, and konged at 5am.



because the bestpart of my nights are you, C.
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31/5/2009
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wokeup miraculously early at 9am, our limbs aching.

hello gila naomi in calistas peejays! HAHAHAHA.

went to yumcha around 5pm at tanjung, then AC. rents picked me up, and droveby our oldhouse on the way home. sueanne amoigeram(whos fresh back from singapore) reaches my place around 9pm and we gossip, eat and smoke the nightaway ;D it sucks cicakballs how one of my bestfriends doesnt live in the same country as I do, so whenev shes down and lives with me, we make the best memories hands fucking down.
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1/6/2009
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dragged ourselves off the guestroombed at 4pm. had sausages and eggs for brekkie, and went to HartamasSquare with lewis.




the things weve been through mister!

eeeevil pizza.
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in the midst of our convo, sueanne throws me a look of sheer terror indicating she needed to go to the loo. on our way there, sueanne FALLS AND FAINTS. O.O it was fucking unexpected and I had a goddamn heartattack omgawd! was home early by 9.30pm. satisfied our Ramliburger craving with daddy around midnight;D then zhengwei and jeyue calls, and we yumcha'd at Canaicafe before moving on to JH's place. got home at 5.15am in a horrid state- dontknow what I wouldve done if my amoi didnt takecare of me.

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2/6/2009
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wokeup and bummed what was left of the evening away(imitating loser exboyfs COUGH!),


GUESS WHO ;O
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.. before going to Justin's for a drinkingsession around 11pm.





hello justin looi


Yumcha'd with cassidy at Devi'sCorner, and was surprisingly back at JH's again for a SECOND round of drinking. was home by 7am. of stuckwindows, fucking ATM machines, dares, &badscenes♥
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3/6/2009
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wokeup at 5pm. headed to MidV a couplve hours later and had dinner at EsquireKitchen.




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having been utterly restless, we leave for Barce literally half an hour after reaching home with zhengwei, nigel, jeyue etc. was supposed to go for a drinkingsession with cassidy and justin but was already in the backseat so couldnt. yumcha'd nearby, and stayed the night at a friend's place. of race games, blackbeadyeyes && almosts ruined by disgusting wolves♥
*clubbing pics with sueanne!
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4/6/2009
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because my cellphone batt totally DIED on me, only learnt cassidy had come all the way to pick us up at 6am the next morning. felt fucking rotten. so cassidy &justin if youre reading this, Im truly sorry! ;( only got home at 10am, so slept like piglets till bloody 9pm that night. nikkid and mingda come to pick us up at 2am, and we head to tekkin nikkid's in Sierramas after being forced to some dodgy nightmarket for a bit. couldnt comprehend a FRACTION of 'MyBestFriendsGirl' as we were all too stoned, but watched it before going home at 6.30am. of nailpolish, tetekbesar rempits &taylorswift ballads♥
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5/6/2009
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I wokeup at 2am and got lectured by the 'rents for going out allnight everyfuckingnight and sleeping allday. couldnt be bothered so went back to sleep after, only properly wakingup at 6pm.
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Yumcha'd at CanaiCafe with jiarong and shaun yap;



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.. then the four of us went to BandarPuteri with beers and brokenhearts.


adenaur joined us, and sueanne and I tookup willys ajak for a drinkingsession at SS17. was with ade, willy, nj, mark ian, etc and the bothve us had a tres goodtime(: was home happy and tipsy by 7am. of cologne escapes, tuak, hidden cigs, false caterpillars &cute pieces of shit♥
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6/6/2009
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wokeup at 7pm. we get dressed, and meetup with derrick, stanley, and eventually clarence and zhouwei at Naeb in Pyramid around 10.30pm.
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we head into empty Barce to drink,




stanley

clarennnnce


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... to MOS an hour or so later;

lima belas tahun -_-

michael eric.

darryl

vinisha



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... and back into Barce at 2am to meet another bunch.

zhengwei my steven

was so tipsy by the end of the night I fell thrice, and it hurt like a bitch :/ Yumcha'd at CanaiCafe and crashed at patrick's for abit before heading home at 6am.
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7/6/2009
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wokeup at 6.30pm. while having our routine smoke out on the patio, sueanne falls BUTTFIRST into my pond ;P laughed till I was red in the face haha.
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left for dinner a few hours later at Kimgary's, Pyramid with adenaur and Nj.



BFF charmbracelets

I heart my PierreCardin sneaks
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the 4of us watched 'Terminator4' and yumcha'd at StationOne with tan and mark ian before heading home at 3am. sueanne and I had a cig with my mom as soon as we reached. we ate dinner, and was ahmazingly STILL hungry so ordered McDs at 5am. devoured our food and watched 'Tart' before konging at godforsaken 9am. of bellies, boytoy frenzies, locked yellowcardoors &papayas♥


fucking classic zitcream &glasses. McDs at 5am!
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8/6/2009(today)
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.... its 1:34am and technically the 9th, but you loves should be used to my anal blogformats by now ;P the bothve us wokeup late in the evening as usual, but sueanne left straight after dinner for Pangkor so wont be seeing her till friday. it feels so odd for her to not be living with me anymore omg! ;S tonights the FIRST night outtve the whole week Ive stayed in, and the change is admittedly pretty damn refreshing. am clueless on what the next few days'll bring but I NEVER do, so hmm. I owe cally and clarence a phonecall so should get going- I hope everyones having as much fun as I am these hols ;) TURNING SEVENTEEN ON THE 17TH! ;D goodnight people.
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when you take,
you take the very best of me♥

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p/s: I, belong to me.
p/s: someone looked fucking fat in her blackdress on charityyy ;O whoops!
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xxx

hello.

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22/5/2009
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was beyond nervous for Math paper1! my never-ending struggle with Math dates all the way back to Standard2, so have accepted the fact that Math and I.. just dont get along-_- couldnt be arsed to change outta uniform so went to AC straight after lastbell. had lunch with tija strawberry bigspenderr, calista, sam and zhengwei+ his weird friends, then spontaneously agreed on going over to zhengweis after. bought KFC and the four of us watched 'Shes Just Not That Into You.' was home by 7pm. talked to cally, clarence till 10pm and planned to sleep early, but ethanbaby pops in and I end up berbonding with him as usual. randomchatter ;
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ethanbaby: jiejie, I have a problem. I borrowed a book from the library, and never gave it back. er.. how ah?
me: how long is it overdue?
ethanbaby: 3months. how jiejie, HOW?! *look of panic translates all over his face*
me: baby, dont worry! Ill help you fix it. but Im curious lah, what were you PLANNING on doing about it?
ethanbaby: *with completely serious face&tone* my plan was to bring it to school tomorrow, leave it in my classmates bag, RUN and make like dunno.
me: *bursts out laughing* omgawd baby are you serious?! youre just like me. DIE LAH DIE.
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talked to natloo and konged at 1-ish am. sorry lewis for shooting you down on your ajakout.
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23/5/2009
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couldnt help but reminisce back to exactly 1year ago. jason kok khai san, you dont even live in the same country now and we put each other through so damn much, but. how much we've learned, how much we've grown respectively since, mygawshh!

...
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anywayy,
ATTENDED. SCHOOL. ON. A. SATURDAY.
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initially planned to drag my ass outta bed at 4am, but only managed to at 5am. hastily revised, and ethanbaby+daddy dropped me to school. yknow, 2months ago I regarded daddy being my ride to school as nothing special- but 'funny' how its turned into a somewhat luxury now that Im forced to sit on the SriSedaya van. Historypapers were sheer killers.
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went home early. cleanedup, relaxed for a bit, and got dressed. asked mom for a ride, but she suggested I take a cab cause she was 'lazy.' couldnt ask daddy cause he was napping. enraged, I punch in 3cab numbers but no cab was available. I tell mom, and what does she do? SHE ASKS ME TO WALK TO THE MAINROAD TO HAIL A CAB. didnt think she was serious up until she asked my maid to walk me. what FUCKING mother chooses computer games over her daughter lah:/ fucking stormed outta the house in a bitter rage.
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reached Bangsar around 4pm, and met with calista and sam. shopped the evening away(:


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.. then calista and I had dinner at Delicious.




was hommme by 10pm. from knocked-newspapers to 'sexay'baldmen, I had funnnn♥ Bangsars been my utmost fav place to shop since forever and the retail therapy did me alot of good. talked to clarence, and died on my bed at 2-ish am.
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24/5/2009
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maison temaned me throughout sundayschool (: the fam and I had lunch at TGIF, then to DigitalMall(yawn much!). ahdorable baby Tania came over to visit about half an hour after we got home, but as much as I missed her, my head hurt too bad to get outta bed. catnapped, and wokeup when baby Tania banged down screaming, " naoooomi! I need say goodbye. kiss please? *waits till I kiss her cheek* okay, thank you. byebye! " damn cute lah omgawd;P went to bed at 5am.
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25/5/2009
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skipped school as the papers scheduled for the day werent subjects I was taking for SPM. slept-in till 3pm(oink!) and bummed the remainder of the day away like a zombehh. while onthephone to cally at 3am, the sound of a door slamming echoes in the hallway and automatically assuming it was mom, I rush outside hoping to share cigs with her only to meet ethanbabys groggy face instead. refusing to go back to sleep, he temans he while I piggedout on latenightsnacks. he ends up bunking in my room, and we knock off at 4-ish am.
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CLICK ;D! say hello to overdue vids of me being typical;

.. what 4hour busrides do to you- Japan '08.

.. lazyday at home with ethanbaby(1).

.. lazyday at home with ethanbaby(2)

..lazyday at home with ethanbaby(3)
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26/5/2009
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skipped school again for the same reason, so seeing as I was bored shitless at home I decided to shop. daddy refused to give me a ride when he came back for lunch('rents dont seem to give a shit about me nowadays weyh seriously :/) so was forced onceagain to get a cab. was onthephone when the cab pulled out infrontve my driveway so got dressed in a recordbreaking FIVE MINUTES ;P lewis calls and temans me throughout the ride there, and I reach MidV around 1pm.
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met up with weijun for lunch at Kimgarys,


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.. and shopped till 4pm by myself, succesfully accomplishing my shopping goals. as much as I treasure shopping with my babes, have always enjoyed shopping alone once in awhile (: am just that sortve person I guess, hmm. talked to clarence and konged a little after midnight.

today's. raaandom.
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27/5/2009
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spent a total of 3periods bitching about ' prostitues with badeyeliner & flying achis ' with hanis in the library, felt evil haha. lunch served today almost caused shellymermaid and I to puke cause yes, it was THAT putrid :/ sat for my Moral paper and am keeping my fingers crossed for an A1! heart was literally in my THROAT towards the last 5mins of the day but only my darlinggs know what Im talking about- all Im revealing here is that my math teacher is a FOOL (: haha. talked to clarence(whom I delivered throat-relieving lemon sweets to in the midst of the day cause hes got a cough;D) and slept early.
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28/5/2009
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HAPPY SEXAY TUJUHBELAS-th, shivani boobpixie (:

&& HAPPY LAPANBELAS-th, sean metalundies (:

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all 3Biology papers got me stressed like craaaaazy. was concentrating so hard, a certain unnamed classmate of mine somehow made my blood boil. his nose was stuck and I could hear EVERY SQUEAKY BREATH HE TOOK from where I was seated. I could no longer withstand it at onepoint, so I raised my hand and shouted " teacher I need to say something to -insertnamehere-. ASK HIM TO STOP BREATHING SO LOUD, TO BLOODY BLOW HIS NOSE PLEASE. " -ended up moving my stuff to the back of class, grr. was out the door by 7pm for;
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sean metalundies' 18th bday party.




warren chan.

yew wing lembugila.


me, natalie loo, dionne.
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felt so good catching up with faces I havent seen in ages♥ made it a point to be home early before 11pm, as tuition was cancelled earlier and was freaking out. fought with clarence onthephone, revised math solutions, and went to bed fucking emo(continuous listening to taylor swift+ james morrison ballads have the power to alter your entire mood, no shit) by 2am.
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29/5/2009
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against all odds and doubts, Math paper2 went pretty damn well! Im far from scoring stellar results but omgawd, to be able to understand and solve equation after equation like everyone else, INSTEAD of givingup and sleeping half an hour into the 2 and a 1/2 hour paper felt so fucking good. plus the end of that paper marked the OFFICIAL END TO MIDTERMS ;D. had lunch with tija, sam, calista+her friends at FlirtnFeed afterschool.
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bummed around the house, then watched " NightAtTheMuseum2" at OU with cally and waikit later at night. remember *cough* the fattie, cally? HAHAHA. was home by 1.30am.




cally and I. I heart my vansss ;D
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... the month ahead looks pretty promising. CharityDinner'09 tomorrow night so am looking forward to dollingup with my darlings, sueanne amoigerams coming down from singapore to live with me again on sunday, for a month this time! and am turning sexay seventeen on the 17th ;D lifes good, but if only my heart wasnt aching this fucking bad, what a contrast :/ mm anyway. happy holidays people, goodnight (:
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And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through;
I've never been anywhere as cold, as you♥

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p/s: I knew better than to trust someone new with my already fragile heart after darren. but then you came along, with your prettywords, prettyeyes, prettypromises; boy. I wanted to believe youd be the one to save me, but I never gave us a chance to truly discover what we couldve been. Im sorry. please dont leave.
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xxx

hello.

for the past week or so, Ive miraculously reformed. my routines have become monotonous and the chaos-scale has dramatically dropped, leaving my days dull. Ive admittedly vowed to cut down on my vigorous nightsout and put a complete hault to a fraction of my dirtyhabits, but.. mm. anyway, updates here we go!
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12/5/2009
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in school, I did something tres horrid to someone on purpose- it left me feeling unbelievably satisfied the restve the day, and I'll never regret it. enjoy the 'gift' when you open your bag, you fugly BITCH(; celebrated TeachersDay so everyone gathered in the greathall. at one point, when all the teachers sang some song on stage I went "omgawd everyones singing except mr.nathan weyh" and calista goes " no lahhh, his lips are just too black to see. he IS singing, just look more closely! " fucking hilarious;P regretted not bringing our cams to camwhore cause the performances were a yawn.
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but randompics from class;

imran monkeyboyy

tija strawberrybigspenderr, glued to eachothers hip and wouldnt have it any other way(:
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13/5/2009
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wokeup at godforsaken 7am. it was so early in the morning the absolute lastthing I cared about was my appearance! metup with tija strawberrybigspender and calista.
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met at empty AC,


' behbehbeh-bruises, cover her.. ' fucking mystery how I attained this bruise mygawd. but calista pointedout how it resembles JackSkeleton from NightmareBeforeChristmas ;P

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.. and settled for cheapskate brekkie in the BubbleTeaShop as nothing else was open. remember our escapeplan, darlings? HAHAHAHA.

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hung around at AC waiting for sam after, and was at Pyramid a little before noon.

makeupless & couldnt care less. watched 'I Love You, Man' and it was soso. calista mentioned a certainsomeones name a NANOSECOND after the happyending and it was a downright slap in the face, as nostalgia bloody tookover and got me into emomode:( had dinner at SushiGroove, and tija followed me home at 4.30pm. totally strayed from the initial objective of her comingover tho, as it was all japanese creampuffs+ cigarettes+ darkchocolate+ chitchat from then on.
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.. but we eventually got our BM lisan project done, hoorah ;D

its been YEARS I swear, since either of us bothered to do homework so it was such an accomplishment! she left around 9pm, and I konged after talking to clarence at 11pm.
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15/5/2009
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wokeup an hour earlier to put the finishing touches on me&tijas lisan project. felt sick like a bitch and shouldve skipped school, but made a grave mistake by dismissing it. suffered the consequences at school- I FELT LIKE CICAKCRAP ALL DAY LONG. asked daddy to take me home early but as usual he was too busy, le sigh:/ went to AC afterschool with farahA, herfriend, and imran monkeyboyy. tija and calista came later on and we devoured our usual Indomee (:
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fever got worse when I got home, and I napped promptly after showering till 7pm. mom bought me bubbletea, sushi& creampuffs to make me feel better(: was supposed to go the doctors, but I was like, "mom what if the doctor asks me to stick out my tongue to check my throat? daddy'll see my piercing and I'll DIE!" and she laughed her ass off- was too lazy to go btw, so didnt in the end. talked to cally and clarence, and watched telly till 4am.
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.. guess who saved my wreck-of-day by giving me this card? HMM.
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16/4/2009 + 17/5/2009
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STAYED HOME ALL FUCKING WEEKEND. loatheloatheLOATHE being sick.
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on sunday, shalene darlingg and jacob itchyballs were my entertainment thruought sundayschool (: signed up to helpout nextyear- and I wonder whether Ill regret it later on? went to Ou with daddy and the boys and had lunch at FishnChips- a totally refreshing change from the ever-so-routine japanese kay. nabbed some stuff from Forever21 and was home by 4pm. was fucking knackered so neglected my cellphone and bunked at ethanbabys.
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18/5/2009
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sortve had a tiff with clarence the nightbefore, so snuck-in to his class first thing in the morning, surprising him with a KitKatChunkyBar under his desk to cheer him up. was bombarded with demands from teachers to handin undone homework all day long- all my slacking off has FINALLY caughtup to me and is biting me in the ass, man! so was in bitchfit mode allday- sorry everyone(except the junior whom got one helluva shouting from me for almost knocking into me after lastbell) who was made collateral damage :( WAS SO FUCKING STRESSED I brokedown on the way home.
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ethanbaby ahdorably helped to order pizza to calm me down, and took SIX TORTUROUS HOURS to finish my Artwork, from 7pm- 1.30am. talked to weijun and clarence, and had no strength to finish the last few bits of my work, so fell asleep while mom was on my bedroomfloor helping me finishup. honestly dont know what Id do without her♥!.
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19/5/2009
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wokeup extra early to study BM. head felt numb from all the stress, as if it was some sortve stress-hangover, so my hair and brain was this disarrayed mess all day long. Midterms officially began -_- sat for my BM papers and gave it all I got, punching in 800+ words cause Im determined to get my A1. talked to cally and clarence till 1.30am.
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...
I still cant even begin to comprehend how you had the HEART to go ahead and hurt me like that. as much as I miss you, Im beginning to wonder whether everyone was RIGHT about you?
...


I hate...
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20/5/2009
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slept thru the first 3periods, and hanis and I wentaround school looking for entertainment as the papers scheduled for the day were subjects we dropped. I endedup consuming a total of 5biscuits, 2pizza slices, 3nuggets and tehice- justlikethat ;P was so full I could hardly breathe properly doing my Englishpapers! wrote a sappy tragic lovestory for my essays, and left a surprise note for a certainsomeone on his desk so he'd read it firstthing in the morning after lastbell(: talked to jiarong, and zombied infrontve the telly till 3am.
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21/4/2009
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the papers scheduled for the day were subjects I dropped, so wasnt compelled to go to school at friggin all. sleptin, and bummed about, failing to study like I promised myself I would:/ later at night, cally, waikit and I spontaniously;
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.. went to the OUG pasarmalam! ;D hahaha.

cally. what would I do without you babe? loves much!

my firsttime eating LokLok.

waikit. muscletanks should be illegal, sorreh ;P


mini somethings I left for my littlebrothers on their nighstand.
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its been a good YEAR since Ive been to a PasarMalam, and altho I missed nothing about its typical overstuffyness and crowd, I rellished the experience. Yumcha 'd at StevensCorner, and was home early at 10pm.
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... its close to midnight now and Im talking to the usual people online. Midterms, hurryup and end already please! ;s goodnight people, best of luck to those who're sitting for exams(:


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You take another line;
And you feel fine
this time♥

p/s: everything about you, makes me want to leave you.
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xxx

hi.

I, currently feel impeccably drained. the last week or so may have been pretty monochrome, but the underlying-old issues, the pent-up stress buried beneath everything has been killing me. anyway tho. updates here we go (:
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3/5/2009
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maison joined me as a fellow TeachersHelper, so having him around as opposed to flyingsolo like the week before was a helluva relief- I honestly DO enjoy watching over the tiny tikes from the Standard2 class, but having someone just lifted whatev weight that came with the responsibility I guess (: the restve the day consisted of engulfing in McDs, and gas-station-runs to buy waffles ;P talked to michael and clarence till 2am.
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4/5/2009
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ClassPhotoDay. seeing as were all seniors now and are finally granted the privilage of DESIGNING our own pages in the yearbooks, it didnt matter how we looked in the photos as itd never be displayed anywhere public. despite this however, us vainpans put extracare into our appearance ;P near-candid pics attained from christabel's cam;
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the usual scene.
l-r; tija strawberrybigspenderr, me, sean siumai, khairi nostrils, imran monkeyboy.



bigspenderr, your Maoni Hotposh loves you!


have seriously lost count at the amountve pics/vidoes of me caught sleeping in class kay -_-

le 5Beta familia.
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ordered McDs while still in the van so itd have already arrived when I get home ;X went for PrivateMathTuition at shalenes, ate the maggigoreng daddy bought for me, and talked to jiarong and clarence till 1am. Im sorry for hurting you jiarong:( darrenloks call woke me up at 4am so was exhausted emotionally and physically by the time I went back to bed at 5ish am.
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