hey.

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yknow, if I were to be completely honest and tear down this veneered facade Ive been putting up lately, things have not been well at all. for the past 4months or so, Ive dealt with my issues by going at it hard with my girls having latenightsout but only recently have I tried putting a halt to this somewhat self-destructive habit. I absolutely love my clubbingnights but nowadays its become my replacement drug. Ive been putting off dealing with so many goddamn things theyve begun to pileup, and now that I havent had a latenightout or a fix in 2weeks the weight of it all is killing me. mm.
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sorry to start on such a depressing note; shall shutup now and get to the updates !
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3/4/2009
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tija strawberry bigspender and I got permission to watch the DramaCompetition pre-lim round first thing in the morning. as the bothve us generally have quite a number of freeperiods everyday, we thought of watching the plays rather than get ourselves into the usual mischief around school. mr.tans office is like this TINY ASS cubicle in the teachersroom so was withholding my laughter the entire time ;P couldnt help but feel this ping of nostalgia hook right onto my gut watching the plays in the auditorium, sigh. 5Beta seriously shouldve put more effort into getting our scripts ready in time.
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I miss it all; the script memorising, the practices afterschoolhours, the costumes, the everything argh. but ohwell. the memories that came with being a partve the DramaCompetition lastyear ;;

.. are fond enough, I suppose (: this was us during a practice in '08.
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went to AC afterschool with tija, jean-ni, farah etc and bummed the afternoon away when I got back. about an hour before the designatedtime to get dressed for Barclub with cally, mom cuts in on my tellytime and tells me shes taking me shopping the nextday. daddy comes in almost immidiately after and strangely agrees on driving me out in the dead of the night for my Ramliburger. bonded with him throughout the entire time and ohmygawd, I felt so bad I decided not to go in the end. I mean, would you have the heart to if you were me? :/ sorry again tho babe!X X
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4/4/2009
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HAPPY SEXY TUJUHBELAS-th, ka kit grandma kitkat (:

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wokeup early around noon and mom and I setout for a fullday of mother-daughter shopping. our excitement was KILLED halfway through tho, as the Alfa didnt have gas and mom didnt know how to pump petrol into it! it was quite a sight, the two of us in our wedges scrambling around the car looking for the 'petrolpump' button- I even resorted to pressing SCREWS and things that RESEMBLED buttons like an idiot one too many times. had no choice but to drive ALL THE WAY HOME just to ask daddy how to pump petrol, and returned to the gasstation the 2nd timeround ;P
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had lunch at Kikuzakura. my fams a regular there, so was hesitant before smoking as the waitresses we know sooo know Im still in highschool but I didnt care. mom didnt care either but she kept asking me to " keep the cigarette low " as if noone would see if I were to be all secretive about it -_- shopped for a few hours and was hommmme by 7pm.

its been a solid 6months or so since mom and I have bonded in such a manner so I seriously had fun (: plus the 1K we blew together wasnt bad either (; haha. had been texting the wholeday, but fell asleep midway looking like a loon clutching my cellphone at 2am.
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5/4/2009
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went for the 8.30am mass(its been a year since Ive attended mass! o.o) and then sundayschool where it was a yawnfest, as usual. the only funny bit was when this nun attempted to take our pictures, damn scary haha. the fam and I had lunch at SubangParade after. talked to michael and dan till 3am and kongedddd.
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randomconvo during lunch,
me: daddy, whats peking plumjuice? nice ah?
daddy: not bad what.
me: YERH. YEAHHHH RIGHT LAH DUCKJUICE NICE. I KNEW youd purposely wan, daddy.
daddy: duckjuice?!
me: well, yeah. isnt it Peking plumjuice? like Peking duck. disgustinggg!
mom: naomi, peking is in China lah. anything from there has the word ' Peking' in it.
me: .. thought it was some.. chineseword..
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6/4/2009
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only blogworthty mo's of the day in school? tija and I ordered McDs for lunch(Ive been eating a burger every.single.day for the past week, no joke) and writing a note for michael on his desk for kicks. switched math tutors recently as I coulnt BEAR to sit thru Mr.D's class anymore- he PACES back and forth and clucks his tongue cause hes impatient, and makes absolutely NO smalltalk at all thruought the class. I know tuiton is anything but playtime but he pressures me so much Ive come to despise his classes. had my first privatemath session at Shalene's with this newteacher from KDU at around 6pm and omgawd, this teachers sooo much better. I lovvvve class now ;D talked to michael till 1ish. crazy how fucking early I sleep nowadays!
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7/4/2009
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was with ketshun majority of the day. there was a tres awkward moment Id rather DIE than go into but mm, that boy and I share more secrets than youd imagine. it was DramaCompetition finals but only managed to catch the last 2plays or so with hanis. sat next to an UNNAMED form 5-er in the auditorium and almost died, his breath stank like noones business. got into quite a heavyconvo toward the last period or so talking to her- still blows my mind how we can share secrets after everything lastyear but Im happy nonetheless (: talked to simson, weijun and michael till 3am.
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8/4/2009
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skippedschool, so was dressed and out the door by 1pm.

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stopped by moms office nearby to pickup cash and waited around chatting nonsense with waikit at Nathans for about an hour. so odd going there in the day! haha. picked cally up, then headed down to MidV where the first thing we did;

.. was have lunch at Amani. almost fucking dieeeed eating the food man. even the real thaifood I ate in Thailand 2years back wasnt as spicy okay o.o


dontknow why, but tieing my hair into a ponytail before eating is like a must for me.


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shopped abit, and played Daytona where I sucked as usual at the arcade. devoured baskinrobbins and watched Confessions Of A Shopaholic, which was fairly funny! Yumcha'd at Canaicafe after.



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falling asleep on the way back, cally and I woke up in this abbrupt shock cause we got into an accident. longstoryshort, we were in the middle of this sandwhich between 2cars and poor waitkit was getting all the blame cause the lady infront (whose car was HARDLY damaged wtf) was being a bitch and the taxiguy who fucked waikits car up in the back was being equally fucky. after a scary Gasstation incident which involved cally and I spurting a kajillion hailmarys under our breath cause we were so shakenup, was home by 11pm. talked to michael and darrenlok till 3am.
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9/4/2009(today)
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... its 3:30am as I type this. yes, technically its already tomorrow but fuckthat, I like keeping my posts organized ;P just got off the phone with callyyyy. was supposed to watch Fast&Furious4 at pyramid with tija afterschool but GUESS what happened lah. GUESS. after my shower and lunch, I KONGED AT 5PM AND SLEPT THRU MY FUCKING ALARM TILL MIDNIGHT. so BYEBYE movie. BYEBYE Barce with the SriKL boys motherfuckingtiuuu. Im still pissed but slowly letting it go cause its pissing me off the more I think about it, URGH. heartbroken, emotional, and frustrated like fuck. dont know how Im sleeping tonight, mm. no school tmr, and I think the boys are picking me up at 7am tomorrow, CRAAAAP. goodniiiiight people.
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whats more important;
saving yourself or letting me in?♥

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p/s: I dontknow anymore. eversince you got with him weve been so disconnected, the gap between us has gotten INSANE. I understand youve only recently gotten together and want to spend everysecond together but I wish so bad youd make time for us, your BFFs as well? I dare not breath a word to you because I know itd risk putting a strain on your relationship, and its the lastthing I want. I swear I couldnt be happier for you, swear I dont have a problem with him. and so silent I will Ill keep I guess, cause Id rather hurt than you be the slightest bit less happy than you are right now bad. I just miss you like fuck lah, mermaid :/
pp/s: Im falling for you and I wish I wasnt.
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xxx