hey.

from a second persons perspective, the last week may have seemed no different than any other, but I truly believe something inside me has altered on a large scale. Ive somewhat reached this point in my life where Ive learned to stop striving to fix relationships that do not deserve to be reignited. its either Im too tired of fighting so hard for things like gettingover Mysteryboy, or this recent blatent nonchalance is legit. anyway, updates here we go (:

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15/6/2009
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attended PrivateMathTuition at shalene's, and left no less than 10minutes upon reaching home;

.. for dinner at Kopitiam with sueanne amoigeram, calista, and tija strawberry bigspenderr. retreated home at midnight. it was a disaterously emotional night after, went to bed feeling like utter crap(and no fool, dont assume it was cause I saw you!).
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16/6/2009
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the principal +classteacher rung my 'rents the day before, so brushed off the emotional talk forced onto me in the midst of the day. the lasttime I got called into his office I gavein, and have had a great sense of love and respect for my principal since but ohmygawd, now only do I sense the FORCED compassion he strived to fucking inject into me in attempts of.. I dont know lah. Im just beyond glad my 'rents have my back(mom even YELLING at my classteacher for not having 'phone ettiqette haha) as they are fullyaware of so&so's rotten attempts to harvest information/ force me to admit to shit I didnt do. at times like this I appreciate my 'rents even more than I already do.
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17/6/2009- my 17th birthdayyyy bitches ;D
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tija strawberry bigspenderr cameover at 11pm;

armed with an ahdorable slice of cake for me to blow the candles in my boxers at midnight, and with hugs.
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promptly after gettingoff the phone with darrenlok and adenauer, tija had an asthma attack! o.o rushed to Assuntahospital and everything was thankfully fine in the end- found it hilarious how I ended up at a HOSPITAL at 3am on my BIRTHDAY tho, haha. she sleptover and I went to bed feeling all mushy&happy, whatwith all the sweet birthday wishes at 6am. skippedschool(as I have done EVERYBIRTHDAY since standard1 ;o) and sleptin, till sueanne cameover and woke us up at 9am.
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had dimsum at OldTown,

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and napped strewn all over the basement couches till 11am. setout to MidV during the evening, and watched 'Drag Me To Hell.' had dinner at esquirekitchen and rushed home early so my babybrothers wouldnt be forced to stayup past their bedtime waiting for my return.

1st half of my 17th birthday gift. my heart is aching waiting for my Gucci!
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cut cake with the fam;

.. and the darlings left after midnight. it was a helluva simplebirthday but I didnt have any real plans, despite the majority of people I know somewhat expecting me to go all out, go crazy for some reason. blargh, puhlease(; I wanted a simple, love-filled day and I got it. plus the once-a-year-feeling where youre buzzing with the undescribable mixture of warmth, hope, and anxiousness? more than enough to go off on! of freezingfines, personal translators, endless hugs &hoodies♥
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18/6/2009
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despite having a sufficient amount of sleep the nightbefore, I was asleep practically ALL DAY LONG. I slept the entire 1st period off, through 3rd period, flatonmyface in the library the entire lastperiod(and snored so loud it was caught on video for the FOURTH time this year haha), the entire journey home from school, for 3hours right after coming home from school, and while watching telly after waking up from my nap I fell asleep- again! felt like a fucking PIG omgawd -_-
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19/6/2009
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school consisted of freeperiod after freeperiod YAWN. sueanne amoigeram visited me in school at 11am and spent the last couplve periods with her and a big bunchve people, killing time in the icecold classroom chatting till the lastbell went off. shared (evil)fishandchips at Flirt'n'Feed and had a drink at AC before going back to sueanne's around 2pm. spontaniously decided on sleepingover, and was DYING cause I felt naked without my belongings/cellphone as the stupid battery died! :|

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fortold yet another sleepless night so napped for 2hours, before setting out for dinner with tekkin nikkid at Ikea(where my amoi blew her last 10smackeroons on meatballs;P ) stoned at Hartamas, and later SouledOut with nikkid's friends where I was bored outtve my brains, and restless without my baby cellphone, sob! I swear my thumbs were literally itching to text. went back to stayover at nikkid's in Sierramas, bumping into this ginormous python on the roadside alongtheway, eugh. Yumcha'd at 4am, and slept bunked together at 6am.

when nikkids desk is left untouched for 1month..

FUCKING PUTRID MAGGOTS TAKEOVER ERGHHH

solution?

BURN em mothafuckers ;D hahahaha

of icky urinewater, throwneggs, cherryplans, &crouched runaway preperations♥
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20/6/2009
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wokeup at 8am to nikkids alarm -_- was so hungry I contemplated running outta the house with carkeys but decided to cook brekkie instead.

sueanne and I, dont even know how to cook MAGGIMEE so it was quite a feat! couldnt bring myself to brave my fear of the stove so sueanne fried the eggs instead, fucking hilarious ;P waited for bryanC to come and in the midst of the crazy jam onthewayhome, my daddys alfaromeo stops RIGHT SMACK INFRONTVE bryans car- what are the odds mygawd?! sueanne and I ducked for dearlife till he was outta sight hahah.
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RUSHED LIKE CRAZY to get dressed &reached Shokolart, Montkiara around 4pm for my tiny 17th Bday Tea.

shalene my missy.

chocolate satay HAHA

nikkid + gilagirl thru thick &thin

cally my BABE.

it was tres lastminute so 3very important darlings couldnt attend :( but it went okay, it was a quiet dessertdate with my closet knit of darlings(: if only I had more of an appetite tho! the idiot waiter who couldnt fathom a single word of english irritated the shit outtve me, I handed him my creditcard and he said TWICE, that they didnt accept my card there despite my 'rents ringing beforehand to doublecheck they did. when mom started yelling the manager gave us a 10% discount claiming I handed them an ' International Dance Club ' -bloody cicakshit :/ but whatev. deconstructed with the help of longg, hot showers and sueanne went back before midnight. was up till 5am. of differentworlds, dirtyboys, coverlines &limauice repetitions♥
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21/6/2009
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HAPPY DADDYS DAY, daddy (:

Im far from fitting the characteristics of an idealdaughter, but you accept me anyway. I dontknow whether the silence will ever fade, but I hope to god you know I love you with all my heart. oneday daddy, Ill show you. Ill show you that everything Ive ever worked hard for, everything Im working hard towards, is to make you proud. oneday you will not be ashamed or dissapointed in me daddy, I promise. you will forever be the person I lookup to most in my life.
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chatted to Maison thruought sundayschool and he somehow convinced me to take part in the visit to some home nextweek. my role in the thing is to write an official article for my church's newspapers and argh, was planning to duckout! but its hello disabledpeople nextweek I guess. as long as maisons there(with his guitar &the potatosalad hes making me) it should go okay. had Japanese for lunch, and the boys and I gave him his gifts later in the evening. kept to my vow and stayed home for daddys sake.

random. FUCKING AHDORABLE ERASERS WHICH MAKE ME SO HAPPY.

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... got called into the principals office again today -_- I wonder when he'll stop fretting over me the way he does? and whether things'll ever regain its balance. have got my 40page overdue MoralFolio to complete, as well as my ArtProject so am bracing myself for longnights hoarded over my strewnbooks and more stress-attacks! grr. on normterms Im capable of taking on so much more, but hopefully Ill keep my composure amogst the overdue work and everythingelse. goodbyeeee people (:
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&& I said goodbye to you;
goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved;
the one thing that I tried to hold on to♥

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p/s: you were my sisters. I dont know what to do or say anymore.
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xxx